


I Want A Kinder!

by Corona_Astralis



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 03:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20056963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corona_Astralis/pseuds/Corona_Astralis
Summary: Disclaimer: All the rights belong to their owners.The Marvel characters at the Avengers Tower trying to agree on who owns the Kinder figurines and why. Easy & fluffy fanfiction.Hi! We are co-authors from Russia! My friends and I are stucky-laces and once we read a post in the related public in the Russian social net VKONTAKTE (similar to FACEBOOK).  It inspired us to create our own mini fanfiction on how the things were to unfold in the original post and that's what we've done!The group of authors:Masha aka Лбъёк Чбсэ (https://vk.com/id220716025)Yana aka Dog (https://vk.com/id177902474)Liza (https://vk.com/id7037263)Original: https://vk.com/wall-167114563_11969?hash=24f559bdc13bcef6dc&w=wall-167114563_11969





	I Want A Kinder!

ORIGINAL STORY (https://vk.com/wall-167114563_11969?hash=24f559bdc13bcef6dc&w=wall-167114563_11969)

Shuri: Let’s kick stress out, I’ve got a Kinder egg.  
Wanda: I’d like one!  
Shuri: I won’t give it to you!  
Bucky: By the way, I’ve seen a Kinder with the Avengers.  
Shuri: I’ve got a Cap’n!!  
Bucky: I’ve got a Stark. Let’s do a swap.  
Shuri: Why do I need a Stark?  
Bucky: And why do I need it?  
Steve: ...And why do you need me? 

FANFICTION

Bucky: I wanna put “you” behind a cushion and make a wish.  
Steve: What wish, Bucky?  
Bucky, grins and then starts laughing loudly: Uh yeah, I'm not telling you!  
Shuri: No swap then!  
Wanda: I know the wish.  
Shuri: Will you tell me?  
Wanda: Easy.  
Shuri: Privately!  
Wanda: O’K.  
Bucky: Steve, hold them here!  
Steve: So, you troll me and say "not telling you!" and when want to hold the girls - it's Steve... Oh... *goes “hold” the girls*  
Bucky: Oh, not necessary, Steve! I’ve got an idea! They won’t tell you!  
Wanda: We won’t! :>  
Shuri: No, we won’t tell and won’t let.  
Steve: Why?! ... What have I done? *took offence and left*  
Tony, sarcastically: Captain Offenc! If only you have been in my shoes. No one needs me but I keep going somehow and don’t say a word.  
******  
Bucky: Who knows, what is the maximum number of Starks can be inside Kinders sold in one store? I’ve actually lost track.  
Loki: And all unwanted...  
Tony, gets angry  
Shuri: Have you bought all the Kinders in one store???  
Bucky: Uh, err... Not really.  
Loki: Not really one store?  
Bucky: One moooore Wanda here...  
Wanda: Bucky, you may slip into a sugar coma!  
Bucky: “No” is the answer. I’m a super soldier, I won’t experience it. Stark, come have some chocolate or what? It is said to be good for distress.  
Tony: O’K.  
Shuri & Wanda: We’d like to have some, too!  
Bucky: I didn’t offer you.  
Shuri: Why so?  
Bucky: I’m offended.  
Wanda: Why?  
Bucky: Cause you 1) sneaking and whispering about my wishes, 2) don’t wanna exchange the toys, 3) insulted Steve.  
Wanda: But I want a Kinder!  
Bucky, Mischievously laughing out loud: You won’t even be able to buy it now.  
Shuri: You insulted Steve, didn't you! You'd better make peace with him so you won't have to hide him behind a cushion then.  
Bucky: I've already found three toys of you. I taped one's mouth shut, locked the other in a wardrobe and wanna screw something off from the third, but haven't yet decided what exactly.  
Loki: Screw off her tail.  
Bucky: Already. Your head. So you've got nothing to speak with.  
Bucky: Shuri, I've got the fourth toy of you. And I know what to do: encircle it with one hundred and forty-three Starks.  
Banner: So, there are one hundred and forty-three of them?  
Bucky: No, I don't know how many. And there will be more.  
Banner: Why then with one hundred and forty-three toys?  
Bucky: Cause it will be easier to count the rest.  
Banner: I'm puzzled.  
Shuri: Why do you need to count a precise number of them?  
Wanda: ... It seems to me, I know again.  
Rocket, laughing loudly at the situation  
Peter: Is he going to give them to me? *with hope*  
Bucky: Err… Well, I was thinking -  
Peter: Please, Mr Bucky, give all the Iron Man toys to me!  
Bucky, angrily, All right, kid. I'm not some Shuri.  
Tony: Why do you need all these toys, Peter?! You've got real me!  
Peter: Mr Bucky has also got Captain Steve. But he wants a Kinder Steve as well.  
Tony, with hope and assertiveness, Bucky, and you give me all the Spiders!  
Bucky: All of them? These are my Kinder toys, it's me who bought the eggs. And having a Kinder Peter wouldn't hurt. We understand each other, see?  
Tony, feeling self-assured, calls to Italy and buys out Ferrero's Kinder Brand  
Bucky: Peter, would you like some chocolate?  
Peter: Yeaaahh, I like Kinder eggs very much! Thank you! I'm coming!  
Wanda: Peter, would YOU share it with me?  
Peter: Only if you don' tell Mr Bucky's secrets to anyone else.  
Shuri, rolling her eyes & humorous: Oh, if only you knew his secrets!..  
Bucky, feeling suspicions and self-assured  
Tony, laughing loud: I've got a deal! Now all the Kinders are officially mine.  
Bucky: So, you'll order to put more than one Steve into an egg at last!  
Tony: Let me think... *thinking*  
Peter: Mr Stark, I need a Mr Rogers toy as well!  
Strange: So, you can lock it in a wardrobe, too.  
Tony: Well... Not in a wardrobe but -  
Bucky, says nothing and holds up his left fist  
Tony, surrendering: Okay. Is one enough for you, Peter? And I’ll take the rest.  
Steve, popping out of the room door: Tony, I will personally boycott your kinders if there’s no Bucky inside. *slams the door again*  
Bucky, blushes and holds his pocket  
Sam: Well-well... Bucky, so... give me one, please.  
Shuri: What are you going to screw off from it?  
Sam: Ask Wanda.  
Bucky: Wanda, tell them. These are not my secrets.  
*******  
Peter: Mr Bucky, anything else you want to screw off from Mr Loki?  
Bucky: Meaning?  
Peter: Well, I’ve got one more Loki and those are a heap of your Mr Clints. Could we make a swap, maybe?  
Bucky: Here you are.  
Natasha: Clint? And one Clint for me!  
Bucky: Come here.  
Natasha: I’m at the door.  
Bucky, says nothing and hands a toy  
Natasha: And I don’t mind one Loki… to be unscrewed.  
Thor, begging: Don’t you unscrew it. I will swap all the Lokis you’ve got.  
Tony, popping out of a heap of toys: Swap for what? You cannot buy Kinder eggs in the nearest future and especially keep us interested in the contents.  
Thor: I can do it for a hammer...  
Tony: And what’s the point?  
Steve, behind the room door angrily: Give him a Loki. It’s unkind.  
Peter & Bucky, sigh, take out both Lokis and put them into a separate heap  
Tony: All right, all right. *grunts and does the same*  
Thor: Thanks. I’ll come to take them.  
Loki: You’d better to take me instead…  
Thor, smiling with hope  
*******  
Natasha: Eeek! Why am I so different? Tony, tell them to design me a normal face for new Kinder toys!  
Fury: Have you seen mine?  
Natasha: Is there a Fury toy?  
Fury: Exactly.  
Vision: And mine?  
Natasha: Vision, I’m very sorry but as for your face, it is actually what it was.  
Wanda: Vision?..  
Bucky, stops making noise with wrappers and chewing chocolate, holds smth in his fist and leaves quietly  
*******  
Pepper: Tony! What are you all doing? I was looking for you.  
Tony: Were you? Darling, I’m coming!  
Natasha: Look at you first.  
Tony: Why?  
Natasha: You’re are besmeared with chocolate from your left eye to your right ear.  
Peter: And I think you look nice, Mr Stark...  
Natasha: And I see a Thor and a Banner coming out of your pocket and they look... very suspicious.  
Pepper, rolling her eyes : What kind of example are you setting for kids?  
Tony: Me?? Here are people twice older than me setting the example!  
Sam: Where are they, by the way? We haven’t heard a sound in a while.  
Wanda, shutting her mouth: Probably, I kn-  
Banner: Relax. I think, everybody kn-  
Natasha: Steve?..  
Steve: What?  
Bucky: Romanoff! Just check your messages!!!  
Steve: What, you, too?...  
Natasha: Either Bucky found you in a Kinder or went crashing Ferrero Rocher down.  
Steve: Bucky?.. Don’t crash anything! At least without me...  
Bucky: I crash nothing, only someone.  
Steve: Whom?  
Shuri: Whom?  
Pepper: Whom?  
Sam: Why?  
Bucky: For nothing. By accident.  
Natasha: You’ve broken the only Steve, haven’t you???  
Bucky: I’m not telling you.  
Peter: Mr Bucky! Don’t be upset! I’m sure we’ll find one more, a lot. And we’ll give all of them to you!  
.........  
T'Challa: It is as silent as in a savanna in the evening when…  
Tony: …antelopes and cheetahs are left with no internet? I have never been in an evening savanna but I certainly hear some sort of fuss.  
Bucky: It is Steve trying to take me from me.  
Natasha: To take what?  
Bucky: Me.  
Natasha: I see that it’s you. But… You??  
Bucky: Yes! ... It’s Steve and it's only one that's broken I didn’t do that on purpose...  
Peter: So, what exactly is broken?  
Bucky: ...It was just in my rear pocket and I sat on it when sneaking under a cushion...  
Shuri, bursting with laugh and tears  
Wanda, understanding  
Bucky: ...But there are six more of them! No.no, give it back, it’s Peter. ... Steve!.. No, I won’t give it! And won’t show! AAH!  
Natasha: What’s going on here? Steve?  
Steve: I’m busy. Trying to figure out what he’s buried behind cushions.  
Bucky: How do you know I’ve buried something there?  
Steve: You told me.  
Bucky: And you said I trolled you.  
Steve: Stop playing with my head!  
Bucky: Stop taking my kinders away!  
Steve: And why don’t you share voluntarily?  
Wanda, slightly unpleasant: And this is he who holds against the others!  
Bucky: Why do you need me?  
Steve: You are the first who didn’t answer this question!  
Bucky: I did answer this one!  
Steve, huffs and puffs having pressed Bucky down: Give the one you broke, I tell you!  
Bucky, huffs and puffs escaping: Why do you need me broken, ah?  
Tony: He wanna break it completely into small pieces?  
Steve: I’ll fix it!  
Peter, almost crying  
Bucky: But I’ve got six intact!  
Steve: If I looked for intact ones only... I need it in any kind as well as you!  
Natasha: Easy, Barnes.  
Bucky: Me?? It is HE who’s going to break all the furniture!  
Sam: But he himself stiffed all the kinder Buckies out?  
Shuri: You’re such a slowpoke!  
Bucky: I’ll give you one.  
Steve: In your dreams.  
Sam: Steve, in dreams who?  
Steve: Both of you.  
Shuri: Bucky, give who?  
Bucky: To Sam.  
Peter: Is it him who found a Captain Steve toy?  
Steve: First, I need the broken “Bucky” and then I’ll find the Cap’n as well.  
Peter: I addressed Mr Bucky, not you…  
Bucky: You won’t find it!  
Steve: I should have a toy of me.  
Bucky, surprised: Why so?  
Steve: To look after the one of you.  
Bucky: Holy cow... He’s messing!  
Sam: Then it should be vice versa: 6 Cap’ns and 1 you.  
Natasha: Poor Bucky!  
Tony: Yes. His mind will be attacked and "torched" by the bores.  
Bucky: Very well then, so try to take it from me!  
Steve: Challenge me for a “fight” for the toy? A fight for Captain America! Steve vs Bucky! May friendship win and the toy will be mine!  
Bucky: We’ll see whose toy it is!  
Fury: We have to do something. If these two start to clear it up who receives the small thing in a fist they can destroy not only their flat alone but also the Helicarrier and the Triskelion.  
Natasha: Easy. This is still-  
Bucky: Aah, he’s chasing me! Tell him, I’ve got no toy!  
Tony, feeling cool: He made us stop telling lies.  
Bucky: But it's true!  
Steve: It’s in his pocket! I saw its cunning mug.  
Shuri: Well, for justice’ sake, he has many diverse ones in his pockets now…  
Steve: I do. Natasha – here.  
Sam: 1:0 in favor of Cap’n.  
Steve: By the way, something is really wrong with your face, Nat.  
Bucky: Romanoff, use influence on him, please!  
Natasha: Are you kidding me? He himself influences on anyone he can, you should know that. Give him the toy, O’K?  
Bucky: No toy without a fight!  
Steve: So, a fight is not enough?  
Bucky: Nope, I haven’t put you in a wardrobe yet.  
Wanda: There’s no space for him.  
Steve: He’s gonna roll me in a mat!  
Tony: At last!  
Steve: Calm him down!  
Shuri: It’s getting interesting.  
Tony: It’s a pity I’ve eaten too much chocolate otherwise I’d watch you chewing popcorn.  
Bucky: And he’s taking my Scott away! There are only three of them! I won’t give it!  
Steve: And you've promised them to somebody, right?  
Wanda: One is definitely for me.  
Sam: And for me.  
Bucky, suspiciously: Nope.  
Steve: For me. 2:0 in favor of me. And now I’ll reach the next pocket. *Grabs a cushion form a couch and targets at him*  
Bucky: You won’t reach “you”! Now I’ve got my and only my cap’n 24 hours a day. My friend will always be next to me.  
Steve, stops fighting: And what about me? It’s me who’s your friend! The oldest and the best friend. Aren’t I next to you?  
Bucky, still smiles but almost sniffing: But I just wanted to fight with you… Cause it’s funny, isn’t it?!.. And a cushion fight is even more fun! *Grabs another one and throws it at Steve*  
Steve, hitting Bucky with a cushion, he protects himself with his left palm, the cushion tears and polyester balls fall down: You... dinosaur!  
Bucky: Me?? Why? This is YOU who’s a fossil here!  
Steve: Nat, he’s cribbing you.  
Bucky: Not cribbing but quoting. She owes me interest for promotion.  
Natasha: In bucks or plums?  
Bucky: In kinders.  
Tony: It seems to be a sort of mania... Don’t scare us, Barnes. Tell us now how many cap’n toys you need.  
Bucky: One is enough for me. But according to you, Steve needs six.  
Sam: I take them back! Bucky is the quietest and calmest here and there’s no need to look after him!  
Steve: I know better! *grabs another cushion and sees a toy hidden behind it*  
Bucky, simultaneously hitting his neck with a cushion  
Steve: You’ve really hidden me here.  
Bucky: I knew you’d find it.  
Steve: Have you made a wish?  
Bucky: I have.  
Steve: Yes, well… I hope you’re lucky.  
Bucky: I'm so incredibly lucky with you my entire life. It's already come true.  
Steve,: says nothing, looks almost offended again  
Bucky: I whished for us to put the couch cushions on the floor and have fun...  
Steve, laughs: And that's it?  
Bucky: Yes… What did you think I wished? Steve! *hits his shoulder with a cushion* Why aren't you fighting?  
Tony: Wanda, so what did he think it was?  
Wanda, winks at Peter: I know nothing. I've shamanized Bucky’s mind only.  
Steve: So, are you going to give me the broken toy back?  
Bucky: Well... It's broken indeed…  
Steve: Let me have it anyway.  
Bucky, takes three or four pieces out  
Steve, takes and eyes them carefully: I'll glue it together, it's definitely possible.  
Bucky, winking: Do it. And have this, too. *Gives a Steve toy* Look after it.  
Steve: This means, It's my turn to make a wish.  
Bucky: Come on.  
Steve: I wish for you to have fun more often, buddy.  
Bucky: Then let's fight! *knocks Steve on the floor* 

Noises of laughter and fuss for the next five minutes.  
********  
Steve: O'K, enough. Take me out from under the armchair, I go fix the toy.  
Tony: He's gonna do smth with Bucky.  
Shuri: Amphibology there.  
Bucky: I’ll hit someone with a cushion, too.  
Steve, winking: Exactly! I'm gonna glue and put it on our big table as well as the cap'n nearby, we cannot do without it.


End file.
